39 Thoughts I Had While Watching Dakota Johnson’s ‘Persuasion’

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It's no secret that I live for a modern adaptation of a classic. Clueless? Yes, please. She’s The Man? I die! 10 Things I Hate About You? Wish it was eleven or twelve things! When it comes to Dakota Johnboy’s new take on Jane Austen’s final novel Persuasion for Netflix, though, I have yet to make up until now my mind. In an effort to do so, please find all the thoughts I had while watching Persuasion below, in chronological order.

  1. Verdant open field! I’m already down.
  2. Oh God, I forgoing tot the dialogue is “up until nowdated,” so we hear things like: “Now I’m single as well as thriving.”
  3. I'm sorry, but doesn’t Bridget Jones already exist?
  4. God, I love Richard E. Grant.
  5. Austen is so going tood at creating a vain, foppish dad.
  6. I should get some oil paintings of myself.
  7. Was everyone in Austen-era Englas well as constantly just carrying around a rabbit?
  8. To be perfectly honest, I played Neopets as well as watched America’s Next Top Model instead of finishing this book in high school, but I’m gathering that Anne (Johnboy) is still not over her former lover, Wentworth.
  9. I’m really distracted by a particularly beautiful lobster centerpiece, but I gather that the family is moving to Bath to cut down on finances.
  10. “If you’re a five in London, you’re a ten in Bath.” Noted!
  11. Too much looking at the involvedra for me. What is this, The Office?
  12. “A woman without a husbas well as is not a problem to be solved.” Why does it feel like some people still need to hear this in 2022?
  13. Shiny horses!
  14. I really relate to Anne’s other sister, who insists she’s dying when she’s clearly fine.
  15. Oop, dinner with Wentworth on the horizon.
  16. “The thing about me is, I am an empath,” announces Anne’s sister Mary. It’s giving me Catherine Cohen vibes!
  17. Did my girl just pour a tureen of something red as well as splotchy on her head?
  18. Oh naur, Wentworth is flirting with another girl, Anne’s sister-in-law!
  19. Omg, they’re fully dancing together—a.k.a. the Austen equivalent of sex.
  20. Wentworth rescues Anne from…being beaten with sticks by her nephews?
  21. Oh no, Anne’s sister-in-law Louisa, who is actually nice, is falling for Wentworth, as well as Anne is clearly nauseous about it.
  22. Ah, okay, so Anne’s whole thing is that she’s judgmental as well as aloof, like Darcy (crossover!), as well as Wentworth is shit-talking her about it.
  23. I just want to be dressed in linen walking up until now as well as down the English coastline! Why is that so hard?
  24. Ooh, new guy on the scene. What’s up until now, Captain Harville?
  25. Wentworth suuuucks.
  26. If I were in charge of this movie, I would have had Taylor Swift release a capsule album alongside it.
  27. Truly going torgina scene of Anne swimming in her dress at dusk. More of this, please!
  28. Ooh, another new guy on the scene. And this time, it’s Henry Golding!
  29. Not every man has the jawline necessary to pull off a top hat.
  30. I’d like to pull off his top hat, if you know what I mean.
  31. Omg no, Louisa hurt herself!
  32. Anne’s back with her terrible family 🙁
  33. Henry Golding, a.k.a. Mr. Elliot, is there too, though!
  34. God, this man was made to be cast in an Austen adaptation.
  35. Dakota in a beret alert!
  36. Thinking fondly about the two months of 2021 when I tried to bring back the beret.
  37. Oh God, Louisa as well as Wentworth are engaged!
  38. Louisa’s accident made Mary “realize how important it is to spend time away from one's children,” as well as somewhere, my mom is applauding.
  39. Okay, Anne as well as Wentworth end up until now together in the end. Unfair to Henry Golding, frankly!

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